Have you ever had your inner child grin from ear to ear? I don't have a clue how to describe it and I won't attempt to here as I fire out this quick post, but I am simply very happy and at ease with Tori. The same seems readily apparent in reverse. We mesh seemlessly in so many ways. She's more intelligent, wittier, outright zanier (word?), cuddly and sensual than any woman I have known to date. That officially includes Jing, too.

(BTW - more evidence for my "I dated a Chinese spy" theory.... heard from Adam recently that she is now married with two children in Brussels... her husband is an ambassador. The girl's life has been far too coincidental, if you ask me.)

But is this infatuation? So much, so fast... having been manipulated in the past, I recognize the whisper of hesitancy in my ear. At the same time, I find myself biting on my tongue when we say goodnight now not to blurt out the L word. I don't agree with not saying it when I feel it. And there is no other reason than to avoid exposing myself to being hurt again. I have misplaced my trust before and am perhaps gunshy, but I know I can trust Tori. On the same token, would it be fair to her if I broached that next level so shortly before my likely transfer to Baltimore? She must finish this last semester, and while she would have great freedom as a recent graduate to move south with me if she felt that strongly.... would it be fair to have her pining for me from so far away?

Eh, so those are some ripples that went through my mind recently. My response is more "Why waste life energy worrying? Say it, man!" And that's where I'm going. But I would like to find a really good moment for it if I can. Besides, if I wait too long I'll end up blurting it out sometime by accident. LOL, how did all of this come about!?!?!? I won't even get into the crazy timing...