NEMESIS !!!!!

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Progress Photos

I wanted to post some progress photos. I'm choosing blog instead of facebook since they're progress photos only and not the final product. I've cut my waistline back QUITE a lot in the loss of over 22 pounds, but still have enough flab that I don't want to post full pics yet. I'll save you all the horror, LOL. Still, the stomach is in a straight line with my rib cage and that looks and feels awesome when I wear dress shirts now. It's nice having strong abs and obliques underneath, too.

So the pics will go below here. The before photo was about as bad as I could make it. Had just woke up, not much sleep, no clean shave, need a haircut and I tried to look as dour as possible. I've never looked like that in my life, but it makes for a GREAT before photo! And then the other two are from last week after about 8 weeks of weight training and running.

Quite some change, eh? Makes you wonder what planet those other people are on who go to the gym all the time but can never make any progress.

Now that my shoulder is fully healed, I'll never let myself get like that again
.....at least until I'm over 60 and can't help it. =Þ

Hello Blog

Hello Blog,

I haven't written here in a long time. Facebook is to blame for that. It drew me in and is much more interactive.

Lots of things have changed since the last time I wrote here. As per the last post, I am continuing to weight lift 4 days a week as well as getting in quite a lot of walking/jogging afterwards. Its a good way to keep the heart rate going while also cooling down. Once I get to the top of Valley View, the breeze just cools me right off. Refreshing!

So far, I have lost approximately 18 pounds and am teetering on the 200 mark. I hope to be under that number by next week. I guess this means it's almost time to shave "the beard of shame" as I have come to call it. LOL I admit that I began growing the beard partly out of curiosity for something new, but also because I did not like the shape of my face when I had gained weight. Now that I am getting close to my goals, I think it may be time to bust out the clippers. Woo!!! Back to getting carded for drinks again. LOL I actually like the beard now that I have tried a few different shapes and lines with it. But I still think I should kill it off. Darn! Now I'll have to shave every day again! =P

Professionally, life has made a significant change recently. I have spent the past two years working, quite literally, night and day. A twenty-hour day seated right here working, learning, creating, testing, experimenting. Always seeking something new, something better, more accurate, more functional. A lot of trial and a lot more error. I won't lie, it has been a very difficult path to cut. Lack of income. Lack of respect from certain friends. Lack of understanding. But through it I have learned my own limits and abilities, even a few personality faults unfortunately. Tori hung strong with me through all of it despite not really agreeing with what I was doing or understanding it. But I thought that her ability to still be in my corner was awesome and really telling of the strength of our relationship together. I still think that, actually. Unfortunately, both she and I reached a point in our lives where the individual stresses we were living with seemed to boil over at one point. A lot of awkward back and forth has happened since then, and it remains very much unresolved. =/

However, in relation to work I have to say that we've really hit a one-two combo in the past quarter. I spent a lot of time writing my own program to reduce what equates to 32 years of manual labor to a single 10 minute computer scan. Wow! That helped put the pin in our approach to normal buying and selling of stock positions, which will become the major bread winner in the long run. With that in hand, but no successful day trading approach, I looked both at going back to work and at the possibility of opening a hedge fund. The hedge fund would allow me to continue doing the same thing while increasing my personal coffers as I charged 20% against any profits I may have made for investors. However, after significant study and then consultation with fund managers I happened to come across, I determined it was not something I wanted to pursue. So I looked at the job market, applied to a number of good jobs which would have been a step up from my time at LCS. Then just in the past few weeks we seem to have made a significant breakthrough with day trading. Who'd have thought it? I had given up on day trading approaches MONTHS ago, before I began writing that program. Well, now we seem to have a way to make some HARDCORE points each day. I have yet to put my own money into it. I'm ever the skeptic. But the live practice results have me jumping out of the chair and shouting!!

With that said, I finally feel I've reached the end goal of all this effort. Do I have anything to show for it yet? No. But I know precisely where it will lead me now. The past two years have been an open-ended question and the regular failures and the unknown or unlikely positive outcome has really torn into me over time. I think it must be very hard or nearly impossible for most people to understand the personal cost I have paid to get here. Heck, my own girlfriend made fun of me about it all for two years! She thought I was nuts, and I certainly have agreed with her at times when I questioned my own dedication. I've come to several gut-check moments along the way, and while I always decided to keep pushing I was really at the end of my rope late in the Summer. Now we stumbled into this by luck, though I define luck as the byproduct of intense effort.

Where does that leave me? Well, I'm "single" and alone, yet not single or alone. If that makes sense. I don't understand it so well myself, but I know where my feelings lie and I can weather the storm if Tori handles her own personal goals and stay straight with me. As to the rest of it, I'm pretty secure in where I stand. Getting into top shape again very quickly. Upper body is defining and growing while the stomach is cinching itself smaller by the day. So I'm young, handsome, in good shape and am starting to make money for myself. I'm also a pretty decent guy! lol That's a good spot to be in for moving forward. The only thing I'm waiting to resolve is the relationship aspect, which is admittedly rather complicated at the moment.

I'll have to update this page from time to time to keep track with events. I can't predict too much into my future (other than my regular prophetic dreams), but I know that 2008 is going to be a tremendous year for me. Even the end of 2007 will be positive now.

I have always harkened to the quote by the character, Tyler Durden, who said, "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything" and it really feels like I have walked through to the other side of that statement. I've lost everything but my health and now it seems likely that the doors I have sought are opening before me. I can't begin to describe how awesome that feels. And in light of my recent changes I have definitely had a weight lifted from my shoulders, both perhaps literally as well as metaphorically.

To life I say: WOO!!! =)